SPARTAN TIME

This week has been a whole mix of unexpected emotions. From nervousness and anxiety looming for race day, to feeling guilt for being consumed and obsessive about such a small, insignificant, even silly event in life. Sept 11th just passed. Obama addressed Syria issues. Emilia's EEG is upcoming... and some difficult news about a family member we love very much. With all things to worry and stress about, this is even more so why I need to race.

"Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away." Mary Lou Angelou

Gratitude is also is on my mind lately. Gratitude for being able to live life and enjoy it. Right now. Gratitude that all things past have lead to the present. Gratitude to my parents for immigrating, working hard, and giving me this life. I truly understand how it feels to be a parent now that I have kids. Gratitude for my kids and hubby for being my joy. Gratitude that I live in a country where I can live life in a way where I can have these moments that "take our breath away".

With that said, so this race, yes, it is just a race. It is also an analogy to life. At times when it's difficult, I will focus on one step at a time and remember that I am grateful for the ability to live life to its fullest and take a step for those that cannot due to various reasons. I'm starting to understand why people race for charity. When we feel helpless, we do what we can to at least give empathy.

Back to the race... I have been monitoring all the chat forums and event information sites throughout the week and getting peeks of the course setup. Here is one the race director posted!

The lake pictured above, that may be race day salvation! Race is 99% sold out with over 10K racers. Lots and lots of nervous racers all around, especially with the weather forecast. This may be the hottest race in Spartan history with temperature high predicted to be in the 100s. 104 to be exact, with a heat advisory warning.

Let the fun begin! Less than 1 day to SPARTAN TIME - five stages of SUCK, physical exertion, the mind overcoming the body, camaraderie, and hopefully, triumph!

Parental Fail : A New Resolution

This post is mostly for myself. Lately I have been having a hard time with Emilia. Actually.. probably the past year. =P This stage is called the "Terrible Twos" afterall... but really, it's not her that is terrible, but me. 2s and 3s are the age when there is an awareness that they have an individual identity and own consciousness. They exert it through challenging what we ask of them, stating their opinions and wants. This is what they are suppose to do and the journey of self understanding and confidence starts now for them. So, I am suppose to encourage them and foster that independence. Not the easiest. Whether it be a temper tantrum or constant "nos" or just not listening, I find myself with a short temper, impatient, and resorting to negative disciplining. Sigh.

Truth be told, to be a good parent has nothing to do with how cute of a lunch box I can make my kids or what I can give them. Those are the easy parts. The hard part is, at the end of the day, I feel too tired or too short-tempered or too stressed about all that needs to be done, to deal with situations and I take the easy way out.. which usually ends up with a crying, dejected little girl. Not only am I stripping her of an invaluable trait of self, but I am teaching her that conflict resolution is through yelling, time outs, and pretty much forcing my will on her. At the end of the day, more often than not, I know I can handle these situations better and that I can be a better parent. The way I deal with the situation is what needs to change. So, I am posting this because with any of the self-improvement programs, the first step is admitting the problem. Also, since I'm posting this, that means it is public and I have to follow through with what I say!

Belated New Years resolution is for me to learn how to parent. I thought parenting comes naturally, but I find I parent based on my limited knowledge and what I have experienced, not necessarily what is most beneficial for my kid and her personality. I was recommended this book by another mom who told me this book changed her life and relationship with her kid.

Easy to Love, Difficult to Disclipline by Rebecca Bailey

It's better I learn this now than when Emilia is a teenager!

Another Notch on the Age Counter

Red tulip flowers from hubby and baby for my birthday a few days ago! And as always, the birthday spurs my reflections of the year.



Every year the birthday passes like any other ordinary day. This year's ordinary day is vastly different from the past... I am a mommy and the day spent with my family is one great, ordinary day. =)

This year, I look at the changes from the year and am seriously amazed at all that's happened. I moved from where I lived the past 10+ years... I have a hubby.. a really good hubby... I have a baby girl.. a really good baby girl... I have become over-protective, somewhat traditional and a little conservative (a veer from the whimsical-anything-goes mindset), and I have friends that are still my friends even though I've transitioned over to the "married couple with kids" side. (Thanks for sticking with me and all the baby talk!) Quite a difference from the sporty, adventure traveling vagabond life. All I can think to say is "Whew, I've survived the ups and downs and adventures life brought til now and am looking forward to the next set of ups, downs, and adventures life will bring in the future."

And with baby, every day is a new adventure. She reminds me that the simple things that happen are the exciting experiences - a smile, a coo, a wickedly loud cry, a visit from friends, homecooked meals, a trip anywhere outdoors (and not just the Sierras or Rockies), or even just hubby taking care of baby for a while so I can nap! So cheers to hopefully another year of new adventures!